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Friday, August 28, 2015

Wonkette's brilliant takedown of Brancy

From Wonkette

Bristol Palin’s ghostblogger has a real important question, you guys:

Remember when my mom put a jet on eBay to save Alaska much-needed money?

Well, yes, we remember how she listed it on eBay, and also how nobody bought it on eBay, but go on:

Yet, SHE is the one that the media tends to skewer, not the President who is spending our taxes on his many many rounds of golf while the nation struggles under the weight of government waste and fraud.

Recidivist sex sinner Bristol “read” about how President Obama has spent 1100 hours of his presidency playing golf, and now she is OUTRAGED! about it, though of course not in a “politics of outrage” way, because she hates when people do that. But this is different and important and “infuriating!”

So let’s do this quick-like, shall we?

A) While the president has spent about 46 days of his two-term presidency golfing, he has spent most of his time in office working, unlike some presidents named Republican President, who spent years — literally, YEARS — vacaying at their ranches, clearing brush, and ignoring important memos.

(2) Even the king of vacationing while president, George W. Bush, says this obsession with Obama’s time on the links is idiotical.

Third: Bristol, honey, your mom QUIT HER JOB right in the middle of doing it, sort of, and then she quit, like, OH ALL OF THE “JOBS” after that, and she even quit her bus tour, when all she had to do was sit on her ass, in a bus, and sometimes stop to wave at the people, that’s all she had to do and she couldn’t even do that, Jesus H.!

Also, your mom is a dumb. A super real dumb. Like, dumb dumb. So many kinds of dumb. And she raised a dumb daughter, also too, who is too dumb to know how all of these babies keep ending up inside of her, when she keeps saving herself again and again.

Everyone knows Mama Grrrrrrrizly is a dumb, even conservatives understand this now. Take it up with them.

1100 hours equals to 46 days, President Obama has been in office for 2411 days so he has only spent 1% of his time in office golfing!

Now let's take a look at Dumbya.  He took 407 days of vacation compared to President Obama who has only take 164 as of December 22, 2014.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Inside Josh Duggar's "rehab"

From Reformers Unamimous

Monday – Friday
• 4:30 AM Awake-­‐ get dressed for the day, breakfast
• 5:30 AM “It’s Personal” daily devotions
• 7:30 AM Workday begins
• 4:30 PM Workday ends • 5:00 PM Dinner
• 5:30 PM Chapel
• 6:30 PM Leave for evening function
o Monday-­‐ Group Bible study
o Tuesday-­‐ Strongholds study Course
o Wednesday-­‐ Mid-­‐week church service
o Thursday-­‐ Personal time
o Friday-­‐ Reformers Unanimous local chapter meeting
• 9:00 PM Study, fellowship, relax
• 10:00 PM Mandatory lights out

Yeah not a lot of therapy there.  At least the kind that he needs.

The first of Josh's paramours has come out of the closet

In a bombshell world-exclusive interview with In Touch magazine, stripper and porn star Danica Dillon, 28, reveals she had sex not once, but on two separate occasions, with Josh Duggar, both occurring when his wife, Anna, was pregnant with their fourth child!

Danica — who passed a polygraph test conducted for In Touch by a top certified polygrapher on Aug. 24 — details her two sexual encounters with Josh in the new issue of +In Touch+, on newsstands now. The first occurred after Josh approached her at the Gold Club in Philadelphia, where she was performing, in mid-March and the second only a month later when Danica was performing at Creekside Cabaret in Colmar, Pa.

“He walked into the Gold Club like a normal patron and said he’d been a fan for a long time and has watched my career grow — he even said from before my boob job until recently — and that he loved watching my very first scene on [an adult website],” she tells In Touch. “Then it got creepy.”

After watching her show and "eyeballing me," Danica says he bought $600 in private dances and then “asked me how would he be able to spend the evening with me.” She reveals to In Touch that Josh was violent with her when they had sex, he did not use protection and gave her thousands of dollars after their encounters.

Danica admits she “took the opportunity because Josh offered to gift [her] $1,500.” But soon after Josh arrived at her hotel room, things got rough.

“He was manhandling me, basically tossing me around like I was a rag doll,” Danica, whose real name is Ashley Lewis, and although the sex was consensual, “It was very traumatic. I’ve had rough sex before, but this was terrifying.”

Josh, identified as one of the cheating spouses in the Ashley Madison hack, confirmed in a statement that he was unfaithful and had a pornography addiction: "I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the Internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife."

“I think that after I come out, there will probably be plenty more girls after me," Danica tells In Touch. “I actually really hope that his wife leaves him and takes his children away from him and leaves him a lonely, bitter man. I don’t think he deserves happiness.”

For the record I have a low of opinion of Danica Dillon too.  She knowingly slept with a married man for money.

No wonder Track loves Jordan Loewe so much

This is from her instagram:

I'm pleasantly surprised Track has spent time with Kyla.  Good for him.

Is flipping the bird a term of endearment in Alaska?

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Bristol is hiding her baby bump

Here are some recent pics of Bristol on her webstagram or whatever account

Notice how they are close ups of her duckface and not of her belly.  Cmon Bristol I thought you were proud of that baby bump!

Are you farther along than 5 and a half months?  I also see Marina photobombed that one selfie.  I guess she is your only friend these days.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Sarah Palin stiffed a hairdresser back in 2009

From Salt Lake Tribune

Sarah Palin not only annoyed leaders of the Utah Republican Party when she didn't have time for them during her book signing stop in Salt Lake City last week. She also took off from her hotel after arranging for a last-minute hair appointment without paying the hairdresser and leaving her to cover her own valet parking.

But Rhonda Halliday of Images Hair Studio and Day Spa wants to give Palin the benefit of the doubt. She thinks the lack of payment was unintended, and someone on Palin's staff just dropped the ball.

Halliday was called by a friend at 8 a.m. last Wednesday and was told Palin needed her hair done that morning. Halliday had planned to take her 3-year-old to the dentist for her first filling that morning, but arranged for her husband to get off work for that chore.

She was told to meet the group at the Monaco Hotel in downtown Salt Lake City and to just leave her car with valet parking.

After being ushered to a room on the 15th floor and given some instructions (don't talk to Palin unless she talks first) she did Palin's hair while the former Alaska governor chatted with her family.

Then, the Palin party left to get to the book signing at Costco on time.

Halliday was the last one out of the room because she had to put her equipment away, then watched as they all drove off without anyone mentioning payment or a tip, which is common when the hairdresser travels to the client for the appointment.

When the valet attendant got her car, he said that would be $10. She said she was with the Palin party and assumed they would take care of parking. That was news to him, so she had to fork over the $10.

She says her friend has contacted Palin's assistant and was told to send them an invoice.

She did get a book and some nice pictures, though .

Unintended benefits : Sarah Palin might have miffed the Utah Republican Party and left her hairdresser unpaid, but Helen Rappaport, a Utah Democrat, was thrilled with the former Alaska governor's visit to Salt Lake City.

Rappaport stopped at the Salt Lake City Costco to do some shopping, unaware that Palin was scheduled to be there for a book signing.

So Rappaport, after noticing the parking lot full of cars, was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to maneuver her shopping cart through the store with hardly anybody in the aisles. She also got a prescription filled with no wait.

While going through the check-out lane, again with no wait, she told the clerk she forgot to get some grape tomatoes, which she loves, so she would be right back.

That's when the bells went off.

The clerk told her they had no tomatoes that day.

No tomatoes? At Costco?

As she was leaving, she noticed a man with a store manager's name tag and asked him why they had no tomatoes. He informed her the store did have tomatoes, but they were taken off the shelves for a few hours.

It turns out that Palin had been pelted with a tomato at an earlier stop on her book tour and the management at the Costco was determined it wouldn't happen here.

The manager told an employee to go into the storage area and get Rappaport some tomatoes, which he gave her for free.

So, because of Palin, Rappaport not only got to shop with no lines, she got free tomatoes.

Yes Sarah is cheap and oversight my ass.  She deserved to get pelted with tomatoes.  I wonder if anyone got arrested for that.

Monday, August 24, 2015

So will Sarah Palin quit or get fired from this one week gig?

From Wonkette

Hurray for Sarah Palin, who is fun-employed no more! It was just the beginning of July when she announced, to very little fanfare, that she would be closing the books on her most recent “job,” which was yammering at a camera about bullshit on the Sarah Palin Channel for somewhere between 5 and 7 minutes per week, for the edification of her “subscribers.” (Yr Wonkette was a subscriber! Where’s the Sarah Palin koozie we were promised?)

But Palin, she’s a go-getter, and she apparently has a nascent account, so after a few nights of clicking on “Stuff Envelopes At Home!” and “Do nothing and get paid millions!” (too good to be true), she found a sweet gig as a guest host for some conservative upstart called the One America News Network, which IS TOO A THING, don’t judge, you assholes. Cue the trumpets:

One America News Network, “OAN”, a trusted source for 24/7 national and international news, announced today that Governor Sarah Palin will be guest hosting One America News Network’s political talk show “On Point” the week of August 24th. “On Point with Guest Host Sarah Palin” will air nightly in prime time at 10 PM EST, beginning Monday, August 24th through Friday August 28th.

OOH, a guest-hosting spot lasting a whole week! And this deserves a PRESS RELEASE! So we’re guessing she’ll do a solid Monday, phone it in on Tuesday and then ghost around noontime Wednesday, citing “America’s needs.”

We’re being mean, she sounds really excited. So excited she plagiarized her own Sarah PAC Facebook page:

“I didn’t get into public service to do the safe and easy things. A ship in harbor is safe, but that’s not why the ship is built!” said Palin. “I’m excited for this opportunity to give voice to so many Americans we hear from every day, and the concerns about our future, and how best to fix the problems. Sitting back behind the desk instead of in the hot seat is enjoyable and welcomed temporary return to my roots. I’m thrilled to guest host “On Point,” she concludes.

And well dontcha know one time in Wasilla there was a boat but no harbor, and I looked around and I said, “Todd?” And he wasn’t there, musta been off fishin’, and I said “Bristol?” But she wasn’t there either, probably off somewhere with her Abstinence Club, checkin’ out the sights, so I said to myself, “Sarah, you’re going to have to build your own harbor!” And well, wouldn’t ya know, that’s what happened, no thanks to the Lamestream Media!

Anyway, there had been quite a buzz going around the One America News, due to how Sarah and Todd had parked the snowmobile at their offices for a long time one day, which led this one employee called “Pearson Sharp” to run home really fast to get a copy of his new book to give to Sarah, because if you want to pimp something, might as well give to the Queen Of The Snow Grifters. And if she completely forgets, she can always put it in the little “take a book, leave a book” lending library by her mailbox:

Gah, we are being mean again, Pearson Sharp is probably very nice, and he appears to be a very cute office gay, even if he is not actually The Office Gay. According to his blog, he was damn well excited to meet Gov. Quitterface. Said she was real nice and folksy and down-to-earth, and not at all like the semi-literate asshole persona she presents to America. His book is called Sovereign and if you are into sci-fi/fantasy stuff, you should give it a try, and you should buy it through THIS LINK, so yr Wonkette can buy cat food for our dogs. See? Wonkette is nice. Wonkette promotes books for guys we think are cute, even if they ARE standing next to Princess Dumbass of the Northwoods*, who looks very pretty in that picture.

Anyway, congratulations on your “job,” Sarah Palin. Should be fun right up to quittin’ time, which, for you of course, is “whenever.”

Sarah starts her temp job today, and when I mean temp it means only 5 days, she is filling in for this airhead who makes Michele Bachmann look smart:

Until now I have never heard of OANN, it certainly isn't in my cable lineup.

Monday Meme