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Thursday, April 14, 2016

Ted Cruz once tried to ban masturbation

From Occupy Democrats

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) is well known for his tyrannical puritanism and unhealthy aversion to anything sexual. He’s spent his entire life shaming people for expressing their natural sexuality – especially women. Cruz never grew or even deviated from his smug and self-righteous imposition of his own morals on those around him, from that time he was in college and called his friend’s mother a “whore” for her abortion to his recent assertions that he would force women to carry their rapist’s baby to term.

As a solicitor general, he argued that Americans have no right to sell sex toys or even have the right to masturbate at all. “There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship” he argued in defense of a state ban on dildos in 2004, as apparently they are “obscene” devices that likely contain demons that are released upon orgasm or whatever primitive nonsense that evangelicals use to justify the imposition of Christian sharia law.

Ted Cruz’s roommate in college, however, has a very different story to tell.

Ted Cruz thinks people don't have a right to "stimulate their genitals." I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.


  1. Like the Bible says:

    Better to be a hater than a masturbator!

  2. Craig Mazin

  3. He's just still mad because his gawjus brocade robe didn't get him any girls when he strolled down the corridor of the girls dorm.

  4. According to his poor roommmate, Ted left a greasy film everywhere he went, everything he touched and they called it "cruhz." He really is a greasy slimeball. He is also listed in the DC madam's book. Too bad the media will not bring slimy down.


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